I am afraid of...

I am afraid of...

.not saying I love you enough to the people who matter
.not being able to have children one day
.being tickled to death
.swimming where fish could bite my toes
.failure
.losing someone dear to me
.dying at a young age
.change
.snakes
.not making an impact on people in there lives
.not leave a part of me behind with the people I love when it's my time to go
.new places
.gaining weight
.him
.getting hurt, physically and mentally
.not doing the best I can at all times
.being afraid
.screwing things up
.forgetting about myself
.forgetting memories
.not being busy at all
.being overly to busy
.crowds
.being home alone
.not believing in myself
.being in the spot light
.fighting
.not accomplishing my dreams
.not laughing enough
.forgetting my childhood
.following their footsteps
.being kidnapped
.not saying thank you enough for the simplest things
.losing common sense
.what's going to happen next
.disappointment
.what others see me as
.being alone
.lots of things

But I am not afraid to make them the person I am today and try to over come any of them! I will not deny that I am afraid, things are so much bigger, stronger,faster, scarier, more complex than I can understand. And that's ok.

New Book

Working at Harley I have meet some really great people. Having conversations that really peel back their layers as well as mine in life. Last Saturday I helped a couple find new helmets. They were so ecstatic about them and to be riding safe. We got into the topic of dogs. How dogs are not just dogs but another member in the family. They have a golden retriever and a lab/retriever mix. After having the same feelings towards out loving dogs the man suggested that I read "The Art Of Racing In The Rain" a book about a golden retriever. I have a hard time with reading. Coming up with some excuse of not having time, or even just I don't like to read, therefore I won't. But my challenge to read this book is to read before going to bed instead of watching tv as well as escaping my brain from homework and learning to love reading.

Day 20: My Ring

Not a day goes by that I don't wear my ring. I recall forgetting my ring 2 times out of the 4 years I have had it. But those two times my mind and heart was never not with it, and feeling so guilty not wearing it.

But why do I wear it? I wear it for my parents. They gave it to me and my two other sisters. My parents are so dear to me and they will always be with me to love me, protect me, and guide me no matter what. Some may ask why I wear it on my wedding ring finger? First off that's the only finger it fits on. Second off marriage is a commitment and I will not take just anyone to spend the rest of my life with, but someone I love, cherish, protect, and value as my partner. Until the day that man asks my father to take my hand I will wear this ring. I will value the love my parents give me, the cherish able memories and moments, how they have protected me and shown me to protect myself, and many more values amongst those.

I will not be ashamed in what I believe in but stand firm to what I consider in my life. One day if I have a girl I will give her this same ring. To make her feel loved, cherished, protected by her own parents like I do. I want this ring to be passed down for generations and let the values of life be shared and spread through the family for years and to people in their lives.

To my parents I love you, and thank you for everything that you do for me. You are two amazing people and only dream to share to others what you have taught me in life. I will wear this ring proudly and love you always.

Day 9: A Treat

Sometimes you have to stop in life and rest. Take a deep breath and just have a treat. That treat will enlighten you to a dreamy world of goodness.

Tonight I am stopping my life, and indulging in a coffee and heath goodness from Cold Stone Creamery made by my Kelsers.

Soon my life will go back to bring crazy busy. School 5 times a week, working weekends at Harley Davidson, weekdays at Sports Authority and will be moving out probably this weekend. Let the fun begin. But before it does I'll enjoy my treat. I think I deserve it:)

Day 7: Saturday Adds

So every Saturday night at Sports Authority the signs change for the Sunday add. The pleasure of taking last weeks signs down and putting new ones up based on first gender, than brand lastly by style.

After getting them sorted is the easy part. Knowing what style for each brand sometimes can get hard. And have to remember 98% of customers don't read the signs just the percent off, so they think everything is and we have to make it easy for them.

After its all said and done signs are a waist of time. Not in the right place, customers assuming that everything is discounted, calls from the cashiers double checking and than having to explain the sign where it's already self explanatory.

Conclusion: signs suck on Saturday nights.

Day 6: 82 year old Edward

Today working at Harley Davidson I got to chatting with this older man. He was in to just "browse" the store, kill time and drink a cup of coffee.

When first talking to him I could hardly understand him as he tried describing how there was a pursuit with a guy who robber the subway down the road. Not thinking much I returned to folding the shirts as he mingled off to get his coffee and browse. After finishing that batch of shirts I proceeded to talk to this man more. He picked right back up where he had left off prior. Describing that some people can be arrogant ass wholes. That they have to steal and cheat their way through life. As for him he was taught to work hard and earn what he has now days.

While talking to him I learned that his first job was when he was 7. He would take chickens from there dirty coops pit them into a clean coop, than clean that dirty one and the process kept on going. While he grew up he wanted to be a teacher, never accomplished that, but did accomplish retiring as a police officer and worked in a prison in California. He remarried at the age of 50 and is very happy with his wife. The man is now 82 years old and his wife at age 81. While talking about his wife he explained to me that Elian is an artist. She had gotten a scholarship at age 60 and explored to Hungry for painting. The year after on another scholarship she explored Paris. He explained to me that you are never to old to conquer your dreams. This past year his wife has experienced two knee surgeries and is trying recover and is doing quiet well. Even with her stubborn Texan hard head. But this man always loves a challenge even at his age. And we will never get through things and accomplish them if we weaken. We must stay strong and keep proceeding through life.

This man was so great to just listen to today. The different emotions he was feeling came through to his expressions in telling his stories and life lessons. I learned so much about him in just a short period of time. And the fact that he felt comfortable enough to spill so much information and memories on like that to a random girl he met just browsing and having coffee. He taught me today to never weaken or I will fail. I must stay strong adventure through life and always be happy. Thank you to 82 year old Edward. You are a good man and hope to have more talks soon about your life, and life it's self.

Day 5: Food

Oh the joy of food. How I love so many things. Growing up my mom would say "you can eat that or have nothing at all" leading us kids to liking everything. Only things on my list of not liking is beets and lamb. Beets taste like dirt and morning after having lamb I got sick and threw lamb chunks up (not a pretty site). Maybe in my older years I will try those two things again and like them. But for now, I am fine without them. For most girls they don't like to eat. They don't want to get fat. As for me, I enjoy every meal. To really win me over would be to feed me wings. One of my all time favorite foods. The hotter the better, drenched in sauce and blu cheese or ranch. Another killer win is medium rare, more on the rare side steak, along side with mashed potatoes, salad and bread. Yummy. I do love me some food!

Tonights dinner: Spaghetti 

Quick and easy always appetizing

Lobster

First time trying it in Washington DC

I will always try something once. I may not love it or care for it, but I can never say I don't like it until I have at least tried it twice.  

Day 4: The Little Ones

To my little ones. They may not be mine but I am theirs, their auntie that is. Having 6 nieces and 2 nephews is one of my greatest pleasures in life. And there is one more on the way, hoping for a boy, but not positive yet. Those 9 are not my only little ones that call me auntie. Or even consider me to be their aunt. The kids that I care for just like they would be my own nieces and nephews. I would do anything for any one of those kids and would give up everything for each and everyone of those loving faces.

Being an aunt is the pure pleasure of having hugs and kisses, keeping secrets, loving, playing and having them remind me that there is always a kid still in me no matter what. To my little ones I will be an ear to just listen, advice giver, game watcher of any sport or hobby, the aunt in the audience of award ceremonies, recitals or the performance in the living room.

Growing up my aunt was someone fun to hang out with, to help me play my Pretty Pretty Princess game, braide my hair, go to my school field trips, and the person who rode with me for my drivers ed test. Only having one "real" aunt but I have many others that I call my aunt and consider to be my aunts. The people that I turn to, to get advice, just to talk to and spill my concerns too, and have by my side all through life. Those are the people that I thank in my life for always being there for me. And they are the ones that make me want to be that same person to other people in my life. They will always be special in my life and want each and everyone of those people to know how much I love them, appriciate them, and look up to them to passing on the auntie relationship to my little ones.

Gracee, Jaden, Gabby, Jaxson, Paige and Shelby

Hannah, Hailee, Paige and Shelby

Raegan

Maegan

The boys who hold my heart and will

protect me untill my love comes along

Jason and Sammy

always reminding me to have fun

Matt and Sammy

you are never to old to be a kid

Allison and Kris

My auntie. How I have so many memories of growing up and you in them. Over the years we have changed and had our differences as anyone would have. But I will always remember what it was like to have a great auntie growing up. And only wish to do the same for my own little ones. Thank you for everything and I love you bunches.

Tonna

The one who I call my aunt, is always there for me no matter what. We may not have to talk all the time or see each other often. But I know she is always there for me no matter what. I love her so much and thank her for helping me become the women and auntie I am today.

Stacie

I will always be your little Kenzingtion no matter how big or old I get. There is so much I thank you for over the years of always being there for me. How you have changed my life just by the little things. Those are the things that thank me so much for you and love you so much.

To my little ones. Auntie loves you.

To my aunties. MaKenzie loves you.



Day 3: Sisterly Love

A sisters relationship can be so many different things. A fighting match followed by tears hugging and apologizing asking for forgiveness! Laughing for no reason until tears start rolling down our legs. Complaining about our family to one another cause no one else knows our own family like us sisters. We will always fight but we will always love more. To my sister who have made me the girl I am today. Still having that exact picture in my head when you both chased me around the house with butcher knifes thinking it was so funny as I screamed with terroir. The time Erin peed in my mouth while taking a shower telling me it was a "great surprise". The time Kayleigh tickled me so much and kept saying "ill tickle you to death" and still feared of being tickled, as that was followed by a pulling wedgie across the floor ripping my underwear. Getting stripped naked and locked out side until mom came home to save me. As much as my big sisters were cruel to me, they made a strong fighting women out of me. They have taught me to stand up for myself, never let anyone push me around like they did. To always be happy in life no matter what life brings me. To wait to have kids and not follow in that foot step (as that is my choice). To my sisters, we may have not all got along, and still have our tiffs now days, but no matter what, you two will always be my sisters. No one can take that from us and no one will ever know our relationship with each other we have. I love you both and thank you both for everything you two have done for me and being in my life. I love you sisters.

Day 2: Chloee Girl

She is my best friend, protector, cuddlier, baby, and my dog. Her personality is huge and is just something else. When I leave she whines at the door for me to come back, when I get home she goes crazy to see me and be by me. I wish I could turn her into a human but than I'd probably get annoyed with her. She is a part of me and my life, I love her to death. Yes sometimes I get frustrated with her but in the end she is still a great dog and I would not trade her for anything or anyone. She is my dog Chloee.

Goodbye 2011 and Hello 2012

2011 was an eventful year of many different things happening and accomplishing.Some of those consisted of running a 5K and 10K which both were on my "bucket list" for 2011, graduating from Vallivue High School with a 4.0 and starting the long journey of College. Akso working for many different jobs and a wide range of jobs, but loving everyone of them and thanking each one of them for the opportunity . Ending my year with two jobs, as they will carry over to 2012, one at Sports Authority and the other at Harley Davidson. My new year will bring new school classes including Art (painting class) Criminal Justice, Psychology, English 102, and Math 108. Fom my 2011 "buck list" I will stransfer to a 2012 "still to do list" which will contain, doing a  ride along with my dad at work, sky diving, and finding out a random persons life story, along with living the life I choose too (whatever that may be). I gave myself the personal challenge to post a picture every day for 30 days. The picture will be significant to me in my life and makes me the person I am today.This challenge will help me to dig deep to find the person I am, and who I want to be. The first picture is of me. MaKenzie Rae Tiegs-Dickson. Who I am on the out side, but further showing you who I am on the inside later.